back when i was in community college my teacher told us the story of a girl in his class who wanted to have sex with her boyfriend but they didnt have any lube so they used mayonnaise. fast forward a couple of days and she’s getting random orgasms during class and driving places so she goes to the doctor and they check her out and guess what they found
okay ill tell you it was maggots. maggots were in her vagina giving her orgasms.
why are 15 year olds so angry
we’re just starting to realize the world is shit
me everytime a character in a movie has to get a few drops of their blood for some ritual bullshit (via jtoday)
WHILE WE’RE AT IT, why do people try to cross those skinny bridges over lava/chasms/whatever by walking upright. IT’S CALLED CENTER OF GRAVITY. get on your hands and knees and crawl across that thing. HUG IT. SCOOT YOUR BUTT ACROSS. “but i look stupid!” lalalala but we’ll avoid that ~dramatic moment~ where you almost fall over and die because your damn fucking self wanted to look COOL
and stop yanking IV lines out of your arms the minute you wake up in the hospital
you can’t wake from a coma and immediatly work out of the room to find out you are a surviour of an apocalypse.(via songofages)
But…maybe Jeff is really a nogitsune and he feeds off all the pain and strife from this fandom!
@darrenmcmullen: Best way to beat that LA traffic. #FuckDa405
OMG I JUST BOUGHT THIS IM DRINKING IT RIGHT NOW I DIDNT SEE THE NO WOMAN WARNINGS AT THE STORE WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME WILL I DIE WILL I TURN INTO A MAN????
sexual orientation:girls taller than me
Do you think John has ever booped Sherlocks nose